A couple of days ago I met with my girl-friends to catch up with each other lives. Word by word and suddenly we touched, I would say, quite a sensitive question. After a sprightly discussion, we found an answer.

So my best friend, after a couple of months of dating, thinks about moving in with her boyfriend. They are already looking for an apartment when the guy gives hint (not straight thought) about splitting payments. Ok, she ignores it and goes with the flow.


They are at point to sign documents when it’s last time to discuss money. So she asks him”: “What are your thoughts about paying rent?” And guy answers: “Well, you splitted rent when lived with roommate right? I thought the same. ”  *Girl turns around and goes away.

After a couple of days, she has finally found out her feelings about this situation. With speech in one hand and phone in other, she calls her boyfriend to explain her thoughts and it sounds somehow like this :

“When you asked to split rent I felt a bit offended. In my opinion, men should take care of the bills and their women. Otherwise, I simply couldn’t see you as a strong and protective man I want behind my back “

A little note – his income is at least 3 times bigger than her.


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This guy calmly listens and after speech announces that it was a joke and he, as a man, will take all financial responsibilities. Good for her. (Now she will consider for another couple of months if the joke was funny or not, poor boyfriend, next time you will know!)

This situation was a little drama that raised a question – Who should pay in the relationship?

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First time when I thought about this question, I was about 16. I didn’t know how everything in relationship works and only examples I could watch from was in my family. There everyone is equal, independent and of course splitting bills. And that’s how I was raised.

When I finally got away from the small city we lived in, a new world opened for me. A lot of men I know lived by believe that men should take care of bills and his woman while a woman’s duty is to be happy and beautiful. However, I heard that only from successful men. The other half actually was complaining of how big golddiggers we are. And I couldn’t help but wonder – why you can’t find another job? Is that somehow related with their insecurities?

I love how Karl Lagerfeld says:

“I never judged women who are looking for a good life. I just don’t understand men who complain that women want only money… And after all, men look at the well-groomed ladies in elegant dresses, with long hair, chic perfume and neat manicure on their hands. They say “The beauty requires sacrifices.” Nonsense! Beauty requires money!”

In conclusion, we decided that men should take care of rent and bills, however, women can join if want.

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I understand that this could be an unpopular opinion, so let me know how do you feel about this question in comments.

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